It’s been a while but guess what I’m back! Hi 🙂
So, I have had a rough time these past two weeks. I don’t know what happened, but I was feeling clueless about everything in general. All I did was stare at my laptop screen & not do anything. I was overstressing and yet just procrastinating. I have had nights when I was up till 5 just making scenarios in my head & then waking up late the next day to just stress over the time I wasted.
Being someone who’s really organised; who stresses over the little details & wants absolute perfection, it was awful. Looking back at all the time I wasted making to-do’s but actually not ticking off any of it, I feel terrible. I actually started questioning my choices, the direction I’ve picked up- aren’t we as human beings really hard on ourselves sometimes?
I think it’s getting tougher for me with time because I don’t have a boss to answer to or monthly goals to meet or someone looking over; this whole ‘working for yourself’ thing isn’t working out that well. I lose direction at times, doubting my dreams, my potential. Even when I know I can, I personally victimize myself. I spend so much time stressing over how I could have done it better; I just keep pushing my destination point a step further. I believe it’s important to have insane dreams & aspirations because that’s what keeps us going in life, na? But then it’s equally important to be content with ourselves. And that is what I am struggling at!
“We are all simply human beings navigating this crazy thing called life.”
So after this 10-day emotional drama that was going on within me, I decided to put all of this together & get back on track. For the handful of people who believe in my dreams; who maybe even have bigger dreams for me than I do for myself; who allow me to take my time- I have picked myself up yet again! This time I am setting daily goals for myself, little tasks that’ll help me understand my progress; something that’ll help me look back & see how far I’ve come.
This time I don’t want to look back & question my decisions. I want to create this magazine with all my heart. Because this is a part of something I’ve been chasing for long, and five years from now I don’t want to look back & think that I didn’t give it a shot.
“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”
To not lose track next time & I’ve decided to write a blog once a week; documenting whatever went by- the little things I achieved & the fears I overcame. I’ll keep sharing the journey of the magazine along- whatever I am reading, online resources & the people I come across.
Maybe, one day, it’ll be of use to someone who’s just starting out like me?
Artist Fix 